Talk 29 Mark 10:1-12 Jesus answers questions on divorce
Welcome to Talk 29 in our series on Mark’s gospel. Today we’re looking at Mark 10:1-12 where Jesus answers questions on divorce, and in so doing teaches us key principles about the nature and sanctity of marriage. Of course, in a talk of this length, it won’t be possible to go into the subject in great detail or to refer to the wide variety of opinions that are held on the matter. But in my view, there are some things that stand out very clearly from what Jesus has to say, and it’s those things that we’ll be concentrating on today. So let’s begin by reading Mark 10:1-12.
Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them. 2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied. 4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” 5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” 10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
So far Jesus’ ministry has centred largely on the region of Galilee, but now, and for the rest of Mark’s Gospel, it has transferred to the region of Judea where the people were very different from those in Galilee. But whatever the region, some things never change. Jesus continues to teach. Crowds come to listen. And the Pharisees are determined to catch Jesus out by asking him trick questions. And it’s in that context that we need to understand his teaching on divorce in this passage.
We need to bear in mind that the Pharisees had seen on several occasions how Jesus was radically reinterpreting the Law of Moses. They were so annoyed about this that they were already trying the find ways to have Jesus killed. (Mark 3:6 tells us that they had begun to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus, because he had healed a man on the Sabbath day). John the Baptist had already been executed by Herod for speaking out against divorce and adultery (Mark 6:17-28). So it seems likely that the Pharisees’ purpose in testing Jesus in this way was to have him killed.
That’s why we mustn’t see Jesus’ reply to their question as a full-blown theology of marriage and divorce, but rather as a wise answer that avoided the trap the Pharisees had set for him. However, what Jesus does say reveals vitally important truths on the subject, as we shall see as we work through the passage. But before we start, just one more thing. Matthew’s account of the same incident (Matthew 19:1-12) includes a little more of Jesus’ reply than we find in Mark. For example, in verse 2 where the Pharisees ask Jesus, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? Matthew’s account includes the words for any and every reason.
And in verse 11 Matthew includes the words except for marital unfaithfulness. This, of course, does not mean that Matthew is contradicting Mark. He is simply including more of what Jesus actually said, and we’ll be taking this into account as we seek to understand what Jesus was saying. And in case you’re wondering why Matthew, Mark and Luke sometimes have slightly different accounts of the same incident, it’s probably worth mentioning that each writer had a different audience in mind. For example, Matthew was writing for a largely Jewish audience while Mark, who was probably based in Rome, would have had a readership that was largely Gentile.
But now, putting Matthew’s and Mark’s accounts together, let’s look at the implications of what Jesus says about marriage and divorce. The Pharisees begin by asking Jesus, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” The question was relevant because at the time of Jesus there were two schools of thought among the Jewish rabbis. The followers of Shammai maintained that only unchastity or adultery were grounds for a man divorcing his wife. On the other hand, the disciples of Hillel allowed divorce for the slightest reason – even something as trivial as bad cooking!
Jesus answers their question in Matthew 19:11 where he says that divorce should be limited to cases of porneia – adultery or marital unfaithfulness. But his first response to their question is to ask them, What did Moses command you? To which they say, Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away. But in saying this the Pharisees are not being honest with the text of the very passage they are referring to. All that Moses says in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is that if a divorced woman marries another man, and if he also divorces her, she may not be remarried to her first husband.
Jesus, however, refuses to get embroiled in an argument about the interpretation of the Law of Moses, but tells them the reason why it was given: It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law. (Notice incidentally that Jesus interprets the scripture by looking at the reason for which it was given in the first place. When we’re interpreting scripture it’s always important to ask why it was written). Even the Pharisees had acknowledged that Moses had permitted divorce. He had not commanded it. Now Jesus explains why Moses had permitted it – because your hearts were hard (v5).
But what does Jesus mean by saying because your hearts were hard? Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that the heart of man is deceitful above all things and desperately sick (ESV). This is true in all generations because of our fallen nature, and at the time of Moses that was particularly evident in the context of marriage, because men saw themselves as free to put away their wives for any reason, no matter how trivial.
And it’s important to note that there was no provision in the law of Moses for a wife to divorce her husband! Men tended to view their wives as their property – something which may be reflected in the tenth commandment where women are listed as things that should not be coveted, alongside houses, servants, oxen and donkeys, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour (Exodus 20:17).
So man’s heart was hard because of his fallen nature, and this was reflected in the way they viewed the role of women in general and their wives in particular. But Jesus takes the Pharisees back to long before the law was given and reminds them that divorce was not God’s intention from the beginning. In verses 6-9 he says:
6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
He is referring, of course, to Genesis 2:22-24, which says:
22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
So in going back to Genesis Jesus sidesteps the trick question set by the Pharisees and takes the opportunity to reveal the true nature of marriage and God’s purpose in it. From his answer we see very clearly five things.
1. Marriage is between male and female
In verse 6 Jesus says that at the beginning of creation God made them male and female.
Now notice what he says in verse 7:
For this reason (i.e. because God made them male and female) a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife.
Here Jesus is quoting directly from Genesis 2:24. Now in both the Hebrew of Genesis and the Greek of Mark’s Gospel, the word translated as wife in our English Bible is exactly the same as the word used elsewhere for woman. So both the Hebrew and the Greek literally say,
A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his woman.
This shows very clearly that from a Biblical perspective there can be no such thing as a same sex marriage. It’s a contradiction in terms.
2. Marriage is a uniting of male and female
Now let’s add verse 8 to verse 7:
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his woman, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one.
This is an obvious reference to sexual intercourse, where a man and a woman are physically united. They become one flesh. But more than that, they are no longer two but one. The implications are surely more than physical. God’s intention for marriage is that the love husband and wife have for each other should result in unity, not merely of the body, but of purpose, intention, faith, heart, mind and soul. How different from the attitude of the Pharisees is the New Testament teaching that husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her (Ephesians 5:25-33).
3. Marriage is intended to be permanent
It’s interesting that Matthew makes something clear that is not obvious in Mark’s account. In 19:5 he records Jesus as saying that God said the words recorded in Genesis 2:24. It was the Creator himself who at the beginning said, They will become one flesh. And on the strength of this, Jesus says in verse 9, What God has joined together, let not man separate. Jesus is not referring here to what happens in the ceremony we call a wedding. He is referring to what God said at creation. God intends marriage to be permanent, and so should we.
Two or three years after Eileen and I were married, a fifteen-year-old girl in an RE lesson I was teaching asked me a question: Sir, how do you know you will still love your wife in 10 years’ time? To which I replied, Oh, that’s easy. Because I’ve promised to. Love is more than a romantic feeling. It involves an act of the will. And for a Christian, knowing that in God’s sight marriage is for life should be the determining factor in the decision to keep on loving and to stay married till death us do part. But where does that leave the matter of divorce?
4. Divorce was a concession but not God’s perfect plan
As we’ve already seen, even the Pharisees acknowledged that Moses permitted a man to divorce his wife (v4). In the next verse Jesus does not deny this but says that it was only because of their hardness of heart, which we’ve already talked about. God’s perfect plan was that people should stay together. But because of the weakness of our human nature, he allowed divorce in certain circumstances, but NOT for any and every reason as the followers of the school of Hillel were teaching. But that brings us to our final point.
5. Divorce for any and every reason followed by remarriage leads to adultery, except where there has been marital unfaithfulness.
We’ve already mentioned that Matthew includes some words of Jesus that are not recorded in Mark. In Matthew, Jesus says:
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
In the Greek, the word for marital unfaithfulness is porneia. This word has a fairly wide range of meaning (adultery, unchastity, prostitution etc.) but is invariably connected with some form of sexual activity. That’s presumably why NIV translates it as marital unfaithfulness. This appears to be the only basis on which Jesus allows a man to divorce his wife – or presumably a wife to divorce her husband. I say this because Mark 10:11-12 indicates that what applies to the husband applies to the wife too. But how does all this apply to us today?
First, let me say that I’m well aware that sincere Christians have very different views on this and that we all need to tread carefully as what we teach may have a serious effect on the lives of people who are divorced or who are facing very real problems in their marriage. But, having said that, as Christians we must take the teaching of Jesus seriously and should never attempt to water down what he has said. We also need to bear in mind that there are other NT passages which deal with the subject of marriage and divorce and in this short talk I have not attempted to deal with them.
What we have said with regard to this passage is that in the answers Jesus gave the Pharisees he was not attempting to give a full-blown theology of marriage and divorce. He was answering a trick question based on how Deuteronomy 24:1 should be applied in the context of first century Judaism. Nevertheless, what he says relates beyond the context of the day because he takes us back to God’s intention for marriage from the very start. Marriage is between a man and a woman. It is the uniting of that man and woman in a lifelong relationship. Man must not separate what God has joined together.
Nevertheless, there are, Jesus tells us, certain circumstances in which divorce may be permitted. Those circumstances are cases of marital unfaithfulness, a term which, as we have seen, can cover a variety of forms of sexual activity. But is this really the only legitimate basis for divorce? Could the term be extended to mean unfaithfulness of a nonsexual nature like persistent physical violence, for example? If a man commits adultery, he is breaking the covenant that he made with his wife. Would he not also be breaking that covenant if he beat her black and blue? Would she not have the right to divorce him?
If we insist on the letter of what Jesus said, we would have to say no. But Jesus’ example teaches us (as we have seen in this passage) to look beyond the letter of the law to the reason behind it. To say this is not to legitimate divorce for any and every reason. But such an approach does allow us to consider the spirit rather than the letter of the law and to apply it with sensitivity and compassion to those who find themselves, through no fault of their own, in an impossible marital situation.
I offer this suggestion in a spirit of humility, knowing that there will be those who radically disagree. All I can say is that after more than 60 years in church leadership I know that there is no easy answer. Every case is different and church leaders need to pray for wisdom and the help of the Holy Spirit in seeking to understand the scriptures and to apply the principles that the Lord Jesus has taught us.