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065 Ephesians 5:21-33 – Living in Right Relationship with Each Other (Part 1)

Today we enter a new section of the letter:

Living in right relationship with each other

  1. Husbands and wives (5:22–33)
  2. Children and parents (6:1-4)
  3. Slaves and masters (6:5-9)

We’ll deal with #1 today and #2 #3 next time.

Ephesians 5:21-33

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,

27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

29 After all, no-one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church –

30 for we are members of his body.

31 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’

32 This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

 
In Ch. 2 Paul likens the church to a building in which Christ is the chief cornerstone

In Ch. 4 the church is a body of which Christ is the head

Now in Ch. 5 Paul sees the church as both the body and the bride of Christ

This is by far the most intimate metaphor Paul uses to describe the relationship between Christ and his church.

There is, of course, an Old Testament background to this.

The prophets regarded the Lord as the husband of his people, entering into a marriage covenant with them.

He loved them with steadfast love, even when, because of their idolatry they were like an  unfaithful wife who had committed adultery (e.g. Isaiah chs. 54, 62, Jeremiah chs. 3, 31, Ezekiel chs. 16, 23, Hosea chs. 1-3). The fact that Paul sees the church as married to Christ is yet another indication of his understanding that the church is the new Israel. Cf. Eph.  2.

Note the connection between the church as the body and the church as the bride.

Genesis 2 underlies all Paul’s thinking in this passage:

31 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’

In marriage man and woman become one.

The body of each belongs to the other (cf. 1 Corinthians 7).

As the body belongs to the head and the head belongs to the body, so too the wife belongs to the husband and the husband to the wife.

With this in mind we’ll consider the passage under two main headings:

The relationship between Christ and his church

The relationship between husbands and wives

 

The relationship between Christ and his church

 

23 Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour

 

24 the church submits to Christ

 

Why? Because she loves him because of all he has done, is doing and will do for her.

 

What Christ has done for the church

 

25 Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,

 

Note: the past, present and future aspects of sanctification

 

What Christ is doing for the church

 

29 After all, no-one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church

 

What Christ will do for the church

 

He will:

27 present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

  

The relationship between husbands and wives

 

Note: Paul is not talking about rights in this passage. It’s about duties.

 

The husband’s duties to his wife

His relationship to his wife should reflect Christ’s relationship with the church

 

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

 

28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

 

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself

 

The wife’s duties to her husband

 

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

 

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

 

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband

 

Taken in isolation these verses may seem highly controversial when viewed through the lens of the modern emphasis on the equality of the genders. Some are quick to call Paul a misogynist! But these instructions must be understood in the light of:

 

A/ The culture prevalent at the time of Paul’s writing

B/ The liberation that has been brought to millions of women through Christian teaching (as distinct from Judaism and Islam, for example)

C/ Paul’s wider teaching on the subject

 

Today I shall confine my attention to point C. In this connection, note the following:

1. The parallel Paul sees between husband/wife relationships and divine relationships within the Godhead

 

Paul’s teaching that the wife should submit to her husband springs from his understanding that the husband is the head of the wife as God is the head of Christ.

 

1 Corinthians 11:3

But I want you to realise that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

 

We need to recognise that this is a mystery (32 This is a profound mystery)

Our human finite minds cannot fully understand the mystery of the Trinity.

The Bible teaches that Christ is co-equal and co-eternal with the Father and yet here Paul tells us that the head of Christ is God. There is order within the Godhead. Each member of the Trinity has his own part to play, but each member works in perfect harmony with the others. Paul says in v21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

 

2. The parallel Paul sees between husband/wife relationships and the relationship between Christ and the church

 

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.

24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,

27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

 

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

 

3. The responsibilities Paul places on husbands to love their wives

 

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

 

28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

29 After all, no-one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church

30 for we are members of his body.

31 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’

32 This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

 

Christ loved the church because it is his body

The church submits to Christ because she is his body

The husband loves his wife because they are one flesh one body

The wife submits to the husband because they are one body

In fact, because of this unity they submit to one another v21

 

Compare 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul says that husbands and wives have sexual responsibilities to each other.

 

To summarise, Paul’s instruction that wives should submit to their husbands must be understood in the light of:

  1. The culture prevalent at the time of Paul’s writing
  2. The liberation that has been brought to millions of women through Christian teaching (as distinct from Judaism and Islam, for example)
  3. Paul’s wider teaching on the subject:
      • The parallel between husband/wife relationships and divine relationships within the Godhead
      • The parallel between husband/wife relationships and the relationship between Christ and the church
      • The responsibilities Paul places on husbands to love their wives

And all this is to be seen in the light of what Christ has done for the Church